To my neglected blog and readers, let’s catch up!
I successfully finished my psychiatry rotation with a clear understanding that psychiatry is not for me. It was the first rotation I’ve been on, where I wasn’t excited to go to the hospital. Work actually felt like work. The hours were wonderfully short in comparison to hospital life yet the days dragged on. I can’t put my finger on exactly what it was that didn’t appeal to me–in theory, psychiatry is fascinating– but it just didn’t grab me. Feeling ambivalent about your day is the surest way to cross a specialty off your consideration list. Done and done forever.
In comparison, this past week has been invigorating. I started my obstetrics and gynecology rotation and I am loving life. Driving in when it’s still dark out, seeing the sun rise above the hospital and knowing that I’ll be scrubbing in on gyn surgery, while the rest of the world is just waking up makes me feel alive. I love when things are happening–the busier the better. I like the fact my patient progress note is due by 6:20 am because we have a full day of surgery ahead and who has time for rounding. I love how hands-on everything is. It’s true, my back is killing me from standing and I arrive home too exhausted to cook dinner. Somedays, the thought of going upstairs is too much to bear and I end up falling asleep on the couch. The physicality of it is tough. It’s also tough to imagine going through life being this tired. But despite how draining the day is, I feel so incredibly fulfilled by what I am doing. I think that in a nut-shell is the dichotomy of medicine.
This past week, I’ve had time for exactly one thing–surgery. Unfortunately, that means my singular interest consumes my life. For two weeks, my marriage can easily handle that but much longer and I can see why doctors have such high divorce rates. I have a great husband who’s picked up dinner, vacuumed the house and even woke me up with Starbucks this week. But eventually, he’ll want a wife again. But this is the point of 3rd year of medical school– you get to put yourself in the life of various specialties and try on that life. Spend a few weeks walking in their proverbial shoes and see if you can handle it. We’re all looking for that perfect pair that fits just right. So far, I’ve felt most comfortable in my Emergency Room sneakers 🙂
In any case, I digress, I have 5 more weeks of ob/gyn which will include two weeks of clinic and two weeks of nights/days on Labor and Delivery service. What makes the rotation manageable are 4/6 weekends off and a dedicated lecture/study day on Fridays. This is the first rotation where I’ll be graded not only on my medical knowledge and interaction with patients but my (limited) technical surgical skills. Perfecting various suturing and knot tying techniques is certainly a new challenge for me–but it’s also really fun!
That’s it for now. I am quite literally too tired to write more. Until next time!